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Nine Lives (2004)

Directed by: Jamie MacDowell
Written by: Jamie MacDowell
Links: Official site, Wesley College
Genre: Short

This movie gets: 3.00 (1 rating) Ranking: not yet ranked (awaiting 2 ratings)

"One life too many" - a review by em_fiction

(see Nerd Boy (2004) for Top screen introduction)

Nine lives - Jamie MacDowell
7 minutes 20 seconds
Wesley College, Prahran

"Artful images in motion. This production explores the possibilities of human movement through the work of students of the National Institute of Circus Arts."

A bunch of people from the National Institute of Circus Arts do all sorts of cool-looking jumps, leaps, twists and rotations, backed by a soundtrack.

I didn't like this one an awful lot. It starts off ambiguously, with some fancy transitions, and then we see a bunch of circus people (in normal clothing) doing these fancy leaps. The jumpy stuff at the start wasn't really that impressive, mainly because it didn't look that hard (if it was hard, then I couldn't tell). Then it shows some guys leaping off walls, which at first made me go "Shit, that's pretty good", but it didn't take long before I saw that and one or two other moves get repeated for the umteenth time.

MacDowell obviously had some sort of connection or access to the NICS, and was taking advantage of it. The problem was that he made them do the same thing about a million times, each time at a different location. Sometimes, not even. The problem was that this "different location" would just be another wall. Or fence. Or pole. In fact, the locale didn't really matter that much — it was still far too fucking repetitive. And because of that, this "music video narrative" was about four minutes too long. The one thing I learnt from this entry: video looks shithouse in slow motion.

em_fiction gives this movie 3 out of 10.
Review created on Sat 12 Jun 2004

Movie review statistics

Number of reviews: 1
Rating Percentage

Reader comments

  1. i loved this film. i found that the coll tricks and jumps were simply a visual aid to the narrative behind the piece.

    Rating given: 9

    A comment from jack phillips on Sat 16 Apr 2005 23:49 #

  2. YOU ARE A DUMB FUCK NGUYEN!!!!!!!!! Nine lives was off its fucking head. you really are a dumb fuck for not thinking some of those moves where hard. I bet your a fat lazy fuck, who fuckin does nothing but sit on your fat fuckin lazy ass bagin people. Your personal sites so fucking shit, it hurt my eyes. If your fat fucking fingers can actually push "rec" then make a better film. Cunteyes.
    Lots of love Paulie

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from paulie on Sat 16 Apr 2005 23:56 #

  3. thankyou paul,

    jesus nguyen, i'm sorry sorry it wasn't as entertaining as the other hollywood films, but i was seventeen and in year 12 with an idea i thought would be aesthetically pleasing. so look, i know your a top reviewer and you and the rest of us see some fairly poor films now and then but frankly i'm offended you reviewed it. fuck you.

    A comment from jamie macdowell on Sun 17 Apr 2005 00:06 #

  4. "Nine lives was simply brilliant"
    - Hearld Sun

    "Made me re-think my entire life"
    - The Age

    "Easily the most spectacular, inspiring, stunning movie of all time"
    - A.Hitchcock

    "Nine lives was off its fucking head"
    - Paulie

    A comment from Paulie on Sun 17 Apr 2005 12:00 #

  5. Nguyen, where else have you seen a scene as good as the pigeons scattering in flight as the acrobats invaded their space? And didn't you applaud the incredible skill of the gymnasts? Do you know how taxing it is to reapeat those moves for the umpteenth time? A little appreciation of the cinematic as well as the acrobatic skills of this exceptional man MacDowell, is called for here, Nguyen.

    Rating given: 9

    A comment from mum on Sun 17 Apr 2005 12:40 #

  6. hugh campbell is spectacular in this emotive piece, hang on... is this a porno?
    i loved it anyway
    love cornelius

    A comment from hughy c on Sun 17 Apr 2005 19:17 #

  7. cluck cluck

    A comment from ed strain on Sun 17 Apr 2005 19:17 #

  8. nguyen, i should never have had sex with you. you have a tiny penis and came too quickly. and by too quickly i mean in your pants. It reminded me of this time when i was back in conneticut and the farmer said to me that i had too many chickens, but i was like "no way man" but he was pretty certain. So i fucked him, and he came too quick too. Fucking fudge packers. Hang on, im rambling. To summarise, Nguyen i have your undies sitting by my bedside table and they have skid marks on them, you disgusting freak. I tried to get the maid to clean them but she wouldnt. So... i fucked her good. She came too quickly. Cant anyone go the long haul? But anyways, Nguyen i totally agree with your insightful comments on jamie's movie because i fucked him and he came too quickly. Too many acrobatics too. Nguyen, you have a big nose. hahaha am i allowed to say that? a bit personal i think. im rambling again, my year 2 maths teacher once told me that i ramble too much, which offended me at the time, but then i fucked him, and he came too quikly. by the way, im a raging homosexual. anyway, i was about to tell you abou... "what?", "yes i know", "yes!" ..hold on a second Nguyen.... (rumbling and panting) .. "FUCK Ed, you came too quickly!" damn it Ed. sorry Nguyen, i just fucked my friend Ed and he came too quickly. good film jamie. Nguyen you are not good. I'm giving this film a rating of 1 coz it came too quickly.

    Rating given: 1

    A comment from John on Sun 17 Apr 2005 19:36 #

  9. right on john

    A comment from jamie on Sun 17 Apr 2005 19:37 #

  10. I'm glad my reviews are finally getting to people. I'm actually incredibly surprised at how much you guys actually care about my opinion. The Couch Potato guy didn't seem to take my review as seriously. I've said this to many other readers before and I'll say it again: learn what a fucking review is. A review is ONE opinion. One opinion that, in fact, doesn't have to matter AT ALL, unless you want it to, which you all seem quite keen on. I can appreciate the effort of Jamie but I can't help it if I was bored out of my fucking mind. And who am I to rain on your parade? Are you (Jamie) honestly that upset that some random, anonymous and most likely purblind so-called reviewer has said a few bad things about your film? If you can't take negative criticism, you're not fit to make any kind of film. You're offended I reviewed it? Mate, you might be proud of your film but no film is too good to be reviewed. I'm not a crash-hot filmmaker, reviewer or site maker for that matter, so I agree with all the non-physical, non-sexual derogatory feedback you made about me, particularly the colourful paulie, but seriously, if you feel that strongly about my review, I suggest you simply don't read any more of them.

    A comment from nofreelist's own em_fiction on Mon 18 Apr 2005 18:23 #

  11. get off your high horse nguyen, coz i fucked it, and it came too early.
    mate don't take yourself so seriously.

    A comment from john on Mon 18 Apr 2005 20:35 #

  12. p.s hey nguyen, how should i go about becoming a reviewer. your job rocks.

    A comment from john on Mon 18 Apr 2005 20:36 #

  13. Hey, dont you guys have any respect? Nguyen has feelings too. Give him a break. We reviewers don't have it so easy. Nguyen, we fellow critics must stick together. Long live King Edward III (I'm not sure if that last sentence suits this situation but by god i mean it)

    A comment from nofreelist's own Hughy C on Mon 18 Apr 2005 20:39 #

  14. whats up nguyen,

    look i have all the respect in the world for what you do. and nine lives? well i agree with you. it is too repeditive and the locations don't differ that much from each other, but for the purpose of the narrative, they weren't meant too. but thats beside the point... to be honest i was just surprised and excited that i got a review at all, i'm not offended in the slightest. as i said earlier, i agree with you. me and some mates are just mucking around and probably will continue to.
    i really apreciate the review and your feed back so thankyou for watching it.
    cheer's nguyen...

    A comment from jamie macdowell on Mon 18 Apr 2005 21:31 #

  15. i apreciate what you do too, hughy c.

    A comment from jamie macdowell on Mon 18 Apr 2005 21:33 #

  16. Sorry Jamie but we can't let this go without telling Nguyen some facts about this review. Sure the movie may not be a box-office smash but lets face it, the review was below par. Nguyen, before you start getting delusions of grandeur about your review skills you should start working on your grammar and eloquence. Because quite frankly your review reads quite poorly. In addition, the use of expletives only reduces your credibility and makes you sound like a pre-pubescent troglodyte. Some consistency throughout the review would also be appreciated. An initially reasonable tone descends into flagrant, colourful language for no apparent reason other than to assert you "superiority". I suggest you find another way to make yourself feel good Nguyen, unless you can do it in a way that masks your own shortcomings. Hope you appreciate the constructive criticism.

    A comment from the best kid ever- Cornelius on Mon 18 Apr 2005 23:06 #

  17. what cornelius said

    A comment from the attractive Hughy C on Mon 18 Apr 2005 23:08 #

  18. Thanks Hughy C.

    A comment from King Edward III on Mon 18 Apr 2005 23:09 #

  19. What the fuck Nguyen or however you spell your name? I didn't see your film getting into anything you motherfucking hopeless waste of space. McFlip is the shit, and i dig his moves, and i dig his films, and i dig his enormous penis that i have no doubt shits all over the size of yours. YOU CUNT.
    - sack.

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Ballza on Tue 19 Apr 2005 00:46 #

  20. oh...and i rock...

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Ballza on Tue 19 Apr 2005 00:54 #

  21. DID YOU CALL ME COLOURFUL???? You Fucking HOBO. Nah, seriously, my mouth is as clean cunt on a hot day. Look, i love you Nguyen. thats why im being so hostile towards you. I want to have your beautiful children. i want to marry you and stroll the beaches at sunset. actually forget that. I want to skin you alive and use your head as a hat. I like hats. Got heaps of them. Sorry to pop your fuckin egotistical bubble, but your opinion doesn't mean shit to me. Here fuckstick....this is what a real review should sound like....

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Paulie on Tue 19 Apr 2005 13:28 #

  22. Winner of the Keren Flavell Award

    The Unbreakables
    Student: Paul ???
    School: Mill Park Secondary College
    Category: Narrative
    Award: The Keren Flavell Award, Screen

    Judges Comments: Comedy is one of the most effective ways to entertain the audience, but it is also one of the most challenging things to produce well.
    Paul Arcus did it with ease in this clip. Juxtaposing the young and old is a fresh idea and the steady tension throughout the piece kept me smiling. It made me imagine my parents in bright clothing shaking their hands in the
    air at an outdoor dance party. Nice casting and good editing makes this
    clip fun to watch.


    Rating given: 10

    A comment from paulie on Tue 19 Apr 2005 13:28 #

  23. Thank you for your advice, Cornelius, but I know my reviews are shit. I know I'm not a very credible reviewer. Their poor quality says a lot about my credibility: I have none. But something important you don't understand is that I don't care. Bad writing is my pastime. If you're looking for well-written constructive reviews, go to David Stratton or Roger Ebert. This site is just a bunch of mates talking shit. THAT'S ALL. If you don't like it, then please don't come here. And congratulations, Paulie, on your award. My opinion doesn't mean shit to you? Well, you sure seem keen on passionately inundating the reader comments, whining about how much my review has upset you and all your mates. If it genuinely "doesn't mean shit" to you then please, feel free to just fuck off.

    A comment from nofreelist's own em_fiction on Tue 19 Apr 2005 18:21 #

  24. alright Nguyen, its time to end this, meet me at the flagpole after school. be there or be square (p.s i hope you go to the same school as i do, and i hope you finish at the same time i do, and i hope this school has a flagpole)

    A comment from cornelius on Tue 19 Apr 2005 19:12 #

  25. wow, this really got out of hand. I mean this really escalated quickly. Paulie, if i were you i'd find a safe house or something coz i think you are wanted for murder.

    A comment from hughy c on Tue 19 Apr 2005 19:14 #

  26. Hey whilst we are talking awards can i just say that i came 3rd in the downhill event at mt buller in the possum division in 1993. I was awesome

    A comment from Cornelius on Tue 19 Apr 2005 19:15 #

  27. poop

    A comment from poopy on Tue 19 Apr 2005 19:15 #

  28. Congrats on the award in 1993 C man. Good to hear. Well, BIG FUCKIN MAC i'm quite upset with you. Your anger towards me grows, which i was starting to inJoi. Then you fucking went and blew it all up your own ass by saying "Just fuck off" What the fuck big Mac? i thought you where stronger than that. It took me all of two fucking days to bring you from "if you feel that strongly about my review, I suggest you simply don't read any more of them" to "JUST FUCK OFF" Man, your a disspaointment and probably an accident. I'm only saying this shit because love you. Goodbye sweet Big Mac.

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Paulie on Tue 19 Apr 2005 19:36 #

  29. Paulie,

    Fuck off.

    Best wishes and lots of love,

    A comment from nofreelist's own em_fiction on Tue 19 Apr 2005 21:04 #

  30. Why do you waste your time reviewing year 12 films? I'm confused...can't u find something better to do with your time Nguyen?! I read reviews of other year 12 films, u just can all of them? I don't understand... i think until we can review a "nguyen" film, you should just stop paying people out until u come up with something better. no respect. no respect at all.

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Ballsack on Wed 20 Apr 2005 01:56 #

  31. This comment is in relation to this chap ballza's comments about nguyen's reproductive organs. I have seen these and they are actually quite large............very large! infact im having sex with him right now and my ass is bleeding......bleeding! but this ballza fellow intruiges me and id perhaps a meeting can be arranged. If his genitals make me bleed i will give his comments creedance. I challenge this ball to his penis where is mouth is and stop giving the blowjob that is his sensless critism or nguyen....p.s i love macdowell thinking of u makes me cum when king edward and nguyen are spit roasting me.

    A comment from Willie on Wed 20 Apr 2005 16:04 #

  32. in relation to any grammatical or no sensical mistakes in my last post.........its because the attractive hugh c touched me in my sweet spot......i love ball macdowell makes me cum and i want to have a big orgie and make nguyen watch. yum

    A comment from Willie on Wed 20 Apr 2005 16:07 #

  33. willy is a wacko

    A comment from bob on Wed 20 Apr 2005 22:07 #

  34. what in gods name has happened???
    i turn my back for two days and you guys just GO TO TOWN with the crude messages. jesus boys where all mature adults here...
    except for you nguyen, your a cock bro! i tried too be nice and i got nothing! and i read your other reviews, how about some new material. ...yeah, you know it!

    A comment from jamie macdowell on Fri 22 Apr 2005 10:01 #

  35. right on Jamie

    A comment from john on Fri 22 Apr 2005 10:02 #

  36. I didn't GO TO NO TOWN jamie. The only town around here is COCKVILLE (population 1 (BIG MAC))

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Paulie on Fri 22 Apr 2005 14:18 #

  37. I LOVE HIM

    A comment from LIV on Sat 23 Apr 2005 15:34 #

  38. thanks liv, i love you too. unless you are referring to mac, in which case i love you too.

    A comment from hughy c on Sun 24 Apr 2005 20:45 #

  39. Yes we are all mature adults jamie, except for whoever poopy is. That kid seems a little crazy.

    A comment from cornelius on Sun 24 Apr 2005 20:51 #

  40. dont make me poo on you

    A comment from poopy on Sun 24 Apr 2005 20:52 #

  41. poop poop (i'm the funniest kid ever). p.s poop

    A comment from poopy on Sun 24 Apr 2005 20:52 #

  42. Nguyen? Where are you? Face your critics you piss-weak bastard...see how you like it. Let's not forget boys and girls this is about JAMIE and the magical mysterious and strangely arousing film "Nine Lives"....poetry...pure poetry...

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from sack attack on Tue 26 Apr 2005 11:02 #

  43. nine lives? is this about nine lives? i havent even seen the bloody thing. i guess i got a bit carried away. P.s poopy knows his shit

    A comment from john on Sun 01 May 2005 17:23 #

  44. Jamie's the best

    A comment from Lewdo on Tue 03 Jan 2006 00:41 #

  45. ahahaha these comments are so damn hilarious. some guy gets a shit review for his yr 12 film and gets his friends to piss all over the reviewer? i know most of you'd prolly not read this but
    1. get a life
    2. Cornelius sounds like a fucktard
    3. i agree with nguyen, the film is shit :)

    one last thing... get pearly to review my sassy girl damnit >_>

    Rating given: 1

    A comment from aishiteru on Thu 19 Jan 2006 21:30 #

  46. y'know what aishiteru, fuck you.

    A comment from jamie macdowell on Mon 06 Mar 2006 17:46 #

Those who have commented give this movie: 8.46 (13 ratings)

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