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You Can't Stop the Murders (2003)

  Directed by: Anthony Mir
Written by: Gary Eck, Anthony Mir, Akmal Saleh
Starring: Gary Eck, Anthony Mir, Akmal Saleh
Links: You Can't Stop the Murders on the IMDb
Genre: Comedy

This movie gets: 4.00 (1 rating)
nofreelist.com Ranking: not yet ranked (awaiting 2 ratings)

You Can't Stop the Murders (2003) is also mentioned in pearly's review of The Extra (2005).

"It wasn't the murders I wished I could stop…" - a review by mino

When you sit down to watch an Australian comedy, you know in advance that, nine times out of ten, you're going to be bored out of your skull and not laugh once. Occasionally, there's a bit of a gem, like the recent Bad Eggs (2003); unfortunately, most of the time they suck pretty serious quantities of ass.

The box-cover blurb of You Can't Stop The Murders doesn't really fill you with confidence. Basically, a pair of incompetent small-town police officers are called upon to investigate a series of murders — the victims chosen on the basis of the members of The Village People. First, a bikie is murdered; then a construction worker, and so on. It sounds stupid and, let's face it, it is.

Usually, when a low-budget comedy has a terrible plot, you can safely assume that it's because the plot is just an excuse to throw together some comedy sketches the writers had thought up into a movie form. And in this case, I suspect you'd once again be right.

Add in a bunch of unheard-ofs (at least by me) simultaneously acting, directing, and writing, and some absolutely pointless cameos by moderately well-known Aussie comedians like Kitty Flanagan (likely to be known to our British readers from The Sketch Show) and Steve Abbott (‘The Sandman’), and you'd think you're in for a total dog of a movie.

This, therefore, made me extremely surprised indeed when I actually found myself quite enjoying You Can't Stop The Murders. While the cast was mostly uninspiring, I found the banter between the two main characters Constable Gary (Gary Eck) and Constable Akmal (Akmal Saleh), which makes up a good portion of the film, very funny indeed, particularly because of the great deadpan from Saleh.

The cameos, too, were actually very enjoyable — particularly that from Bob Franklin, who, while only having a minor part, has a very good one, and is absolutely hilarious.

Luckily for me, this surprising situation was soon remedied, and the film started to go downhill very quickly. The little sketches got less and less funny, and the initially engaging characters grew both dull and annoying very quickly. The snappy dialogue faded away, and the cameos started to get painfully gratuitous, that of Jimeoin being notably pointless, for example.

Probably the worst part is that You Can't Stop The Murders doesn't even give you the satisfaction of getting angry at the bad jokes. It's not like the humour gets worse and worse, and the jokes at the start are funny but the ones at the end aren't; even worse than that, the jokes just kind of… stop. They slow to a trickle, and then pretty much dry up completely, trailing off into one of the most lame-duck endings I can remember seeing in some time.

You Can't Stop The Murders showed a lot of promise at the start, but I'm afraid there just aren't enough jokes to fill the movie. With a bit more time and care spent on it (and maybe a bit more effort put into the negotiation of the rights to some songs by The Village People; their absence is just confusing), it could have been a good movie.

Alas, it ain't. Maybe if you just watched the first fifteen minutes…

mino gives this movie 4 out of 10.
Review created on Fri 6 Feb 2004

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Reader comments

  1. the absense of the village people music in the movie in conspicuous and unfortunate, both for viewers and the film makers themselves. it seems the rights to all the village people's music were bought (michael jackson beatles style) but some rich european cunt, and he flat out refused to release the rights to the music for the film - no matter what the fee. it was an unexpected hurdle for all involved.

    it's worth noting that in your critique of the movie, it was originally meant to be a small scale video movie shot by mates on mini-dv, but through a stroke of luck they managed to secure distribution through miramax and some bankroll, then borrowed the rest of the money they needed off anyone they could. had the major release been on the cards, it's a given a lot more work would have gone into the script.

    for what it is, it's a fun flick for a reefer and pizza night, and a foot in the door for everyone invloved. be on the look out for their future projects (including writer/star Eck, who actually won tropfest this year (2004)).

    interesting side note: the village people were touring australia at exactly the same time that akmal, gary and anthony were doing the media rounds to promote the film - leading to an amusing encounter backstage on a particular tv show. it's not every day you meet a bunch of guys that have just made a film about systematically killing everyone in your group.

    Rating given: 5

    A comment from pete on Mon 01 Mar 2004 11:16 #

  2. i thought it was a pretty good movie in general although it could use a bit of a touch up here and there and some more depth into the storyline. there were some places in particular when i had no idea what was going on. but it was a good idea for a movie and would have been brilliant if a little more depth was put into it.

    Rating given: 7

    A comment from alex on Wed 11 Aug 2004 00:29 #

  3. it was a good movie i like it. is more funny that the comedy movies of USA

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Faith on Tue 20 Sep 2005 18:34 #

  4. Bloody hilarious. Good one Gary !

    Rating given: 9

    A comment from Michael on Sun 27 Nov 2005 22:08 #

  5. OH GOD, GARY ECK WAS SO HOT. I ESPECIALLY LOVED HIS HOT BODY WHEN HE WAS DANCING. THIS FILM MADE ME SO EXCITED I WATCHED IT TEN TIMES. DIDNT LIKE THE OTHER LITTLE POLICEMAN THOUGH. OH GOD IM WET JUST THINKING ABOUT HIM NOW.

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Davinia Dupor on Sun 27 Nov 2005 23:44 #

  6. hey it was a great movie good on ya gary who miss ya and luv ya heaps x o lil ANG

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from angelina on Thu 13 Apr 2006 16:17 #

  7. blady good movie mate-better than any yanky shit iv ever seen

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from vinny on Sat 14 Jul 2007 13:55 #

Those who have commented give this movie: 8.71 (7 ratings)

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