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The Wannabes (2003)

  Directed by: Nick Giannopoulos
Written by: Chris Anastassiades, Ray Boseley, Nick Giannopoulos
Starring: Lena Cruz, Russell Dykstra, Isla Fisher, Nick Giannopoulos, Ryan Johnson, Costas Kilias, Felix Williamson
Links: The Wannabes on the IMDb, Official site
Genre: Comedy
Awards: AFI Awards: Best Film 2003 (nominee)

This movie gets: 2.00 (1 rating) Ranking: not yet ranked (awaiting 2 ratings)

The Wannabes (2003) is also mentioned in pearly's review of Thunderstruck (2004).

"If it wants to be crap, it succeeds" - a review by pearly

Allow me to preface my review by saying that I have my feet very firmly planted in the Jaime Pressly is not funny camp. I've never even seen The Wog Boy (2000). I only went to see The Wannabes because it was nominated for an AFI, and because I got in for free.

The Wannabes is on quite a different tack to Giannopoulos' previous efforts. It's about a gang of small time crooks who decide that it would be a good idea to rob a large diamond from a wealthy couple by posing as a children's act and turning up to their son's birthday party to perform, along with all the other kid's acts. In order to do this, they hire Danny (Giannopoulos), a dance instructor, to give them some tips. Danny is keen, mainly because of gangleader Marcus' (Russell Dykstra) sister Kirsty (Isla Fisher).

Given that Danny doesn't know of the gang's criminal intentions, lots of supposed hilarity ensues as the gang become frustrated with Danny and try to take him out, and then when they perform at the kid's party and become an unexpected smash hit.

The thing is, though, it's really not funny. Cringeworthy, perhaps, or funny in a laughing at them rather than with them way, but certainly not funny in the way it's meant to be. For one thing, the character of Danny is stupid. His "thing" as a performer is to make stupid noises that act as a distraction for the vulgarity coming from the other group members. It's not funny.

And then, there's the rich wife who hires The Wannabes: Rory (Lena Cruz). Oh deary deary me. I cannot believe that someone actually sat down in the past ten years and wrote a part for a character who is, put simply, the personification of the "me so solly" racist Asian jokes that Krusty the clown from The Simpsons sometimes tells. She is such a politically incorrect character. This kind of humour might have been okay thirty years ago, but the thing is, I don't even particularly care about how offensive it is, because the overriding thing about this character is that she's not funny. Not even a little bit. If you watched me sitting on the couch eating a packet of potato chips, you would find that hilarious compared with this inane garbage.

And don't even get me started on Felix Williamson.

I can understand Rove McManus agreeing to have a cameo appearance in this, but what were you thinking Bert Newton?! You really should have spent the day cleaning your rugs instead. As for me, I should have stayed home and washed my real hair.

pearly gives this movie 2 out of 10.
Review created on Thu 16 Oct 2003

Movie review statistics

Number of reviews: 1
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Reader comments

  1. Ryan Johnson is so hot and dont bag this movie!

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from nat on Tue 28 Sep 2004 18:01 #

  2. I would like to know where i can get pix of RYAN JOHNSON...he is soooo hot!

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Tenielle ( on Wed 15 Dec 2004 12:13 #

  3. i have to agree with nat ryan is a hottie and also a talented actor there needs to be more info about him on the web

    Rating given: 9

    A comment from missL on Sun 19 Dec 2004 00:56 #

  4. This movie is extremely awesome f*#$%ing funny it is god your dum whoever wrote this review

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Travis on Wed 01 Jun 2005 15:43 #

  5. As much as i disagree with your review on NED, i defenitely agree with your review on the Wannabes, this film was Crap with a capital C!

    A comment from Benchwarmer on Sat 07 Jan 2006 13:24 #

  6. whoops forgot to rate it!

    Rating given: 2

    A comment from Benchwarmer on Sat 07 Jan 2006 13:25 #

Those who have commented give this movie: 8.20 (5 ratings)

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