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The Invisible

This movie gets: 3.00 (1 rating) Ranking: not yet ranked (awaiting 2 ratings)

"HUH?" - a review by andy-j

Nick Powell is your typical sulky and cynical teenager who pulls no punches and has decided that he is fed up with this hick town. No wonder a bunch of bad-ass teenagers lead by rebellious hot chick Annie "accidentally" "kill" him after his best friend Pete dobs him in for dobbing her in for committing a brazen jewelery store robbery, even though neither Pete nor Nick did say anything to the cops, but omg Pete had to do something because he was cornered and because Nick was going to London he thought that he would escape in time. But really it was that snake Marcus, Annie's boyfriend who dobbed her in because she decided to go to school one day. True story! Anyway, Nick is in some sort of ghostly limbo, where he cannot communicate or interact with others, yet he has to somehow raise the alarm and get someone to discover his barely-alive body and save him before he expires completely.

There are many problems with The Invisible, and one of the big ones is that it is not at all engaging. At various stages, the film tries to convey a sense of desperation, fear, excitement, and sadness but it just DOESN'T. It doesn't even come close. Nick apparently only has a small amount of time to save his own life, but we don't really know how MUCH time, so the whole thing can (and does) just keep dragging on until the movie finally decides it is ready to present us with a climax. So there goes the sense of desperation. The film also relies on the audience relating to the characters and their emotions, but said characters and their actions are downright baffling, so any relating we do them is laid aside in favour of "what the fuck"s all round. Why, for example, is the tough girl with a screwed up family life, a girl who beats up guys and seems to despise conventional beauty, have lovely long hair, beautiful features, and no piercings or tattoos? Maybe she isn't meant to be a stereotype, but surely the character's physicality should reflect their emotional and mental states AT LEAST A LITTLE! What next? Dakota Fanning running around as the Terminator? Annie's boyfriend Marcus decides to dob her in for the robbery because she leaves his place early in the morning when he wants her to stay. HUH? I thought he was a tough guy but suddenly he's transformed into a bitch?!? Then he decides to kill her. So now he's a tough-guy-bitchy-drama-queen-psychopath cross.

The real 'killer' (haha), though, is the plot, which is COMPLETELY illogical, and makes absolutely no sense. Here are some of the problems (there are more): Why does Pete hide the fact that he was there when his best friend was "murdered"? Why doesn't he just tell the cops everything and bring his friend's killers to justice? Why is he protecting a bunch of people who hate him and who he hates? When Pete and Marcus are moving Nick's body, Nick is apparently still alive. Don't they realise this? He's been unconscious for more than 24 hours - why don't they notice that he isn't stiff, that he hasn't gone blue, and that he doesn't display any other signs of being dead? Later on, Pete attempts suicide by taking a bunch of pills, lying down quietly on his bed and going to sleep. A few minutes later, his parents BURST into his room SCREAMING his name! How did they know he was trying to kill himself? Did he mention it to them in passing beforehand, and it just took a while for it to sink in? What happens to him anyway - does he survive? We never find out! And how does Annie's act of lying down next to Nick in the hospital bed cause his life to be saved? HTTP://WWW.WHATTHEFUCK.COM (i.e. that part made no sense and was just a cruddy way of bringing everything to a conclusion).

All of the above turn The Invisible into a joke. It is careless, dull, ill-conceived, sloppy, illogical and, worst of all, it obviously considers itself a worthwhile, gripping and serious supernatural drama/thriller, and that It Has Something To Say. It is extremely painful to sit through, so much so that you wish Dakota Fanning would guest star, crashing through the ceiling in a helicopter, giving us a bit of the "Hasta la vista, baby" routine and then machine-gunning every motherfucking character in this ridiculous fucking movie

andy-j gives this movie 3 out of 10.
Review created on Fri 24 Aug 2007

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