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Resident Evil: Apocalyse (Resident Evil 2) (2004)

  Directed by: Alexander Witt
Written by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Sienna Guillory, Jared Harris, Milla Jovovich
Links: Resident Evil: Apocalyse on the IMDb, Official site, Buy on Video, Buy on DVD, Buy the Soundtrack, Buy the Book
Genre: Action

This movie gets: 2.00 (1 rating)
nofreelist.com Ranking: not yet ranked (awaiting 2 ratings)

"Stinks of FANBOY" - a review by andy-j

If you were to set out to make a movie that was worse than.. I dunno.. say... Event Horizon, then who would you get? Why Paul W.S. Anderson of course, the very fellow who directed said movie! And in Resident Evil: Apocalyse, he doesn't disappoint (whereby a disappointment would be a movie that was BETTER than Event Horizon). Resident Evil: Apocalyse (hereby known as RE2) is just beyond bad. It's got to be just about the stupidest thing I've ever witnessed. Let's see what it's got going for it:
- Written by Paul W.S. Anderson
- Based on an (old) video game
- Is the sequel to a shithouse movie, which was ALSO based on a computer game, and which was ALSO written by Paul W.S. Anderson
- Yet ANOTHER zombie movie
- Comes in the middle of a wave of zombie movies (28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead and the soon-to-be-released Land of the Dead) - zero originality

And we haven't even touched on the content of RE2 itself yet! OK, Alice (Milla Jovovich) awakens from her misadventures in the first movie to find Raccoon City is overrun with zombies. The townsfolk are desperate to flee the city, but the evil Umbrella Corporation decide the risk of the T-Virus spreading is too great, and want to nuke the city and its inhabitants. Alice teams up with Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) and some others whose names aren't important, to try to escape. But Umbrella have their latest ultra-powerful bio-weapon - Nemesis - which is out to stop them.

The ridiculous plot is mind-numbing and insulting. It's meant to be an exciting action movie, right? Not for a single second was I even slightly engaged by this rot. No surprises, no shocks, nothing interesting happening. It appears that every bullet that was fired in the movie was aimed directly at the plot, leaving a movie riddled with plot holes. And the characters! How generic and unlikeable and predictable can you get? One-dimensional characters would be a God-send, but we don't even get that. And the acting! Oooh God it made me cringe in parts! How bad is Sienna Guillory?! Sheesh! Even the character in the computer game did a better job! She's like a watered-down Lara Croft. Now THAT'S bad!

Look Anderson, the video game was popular, but there's no need to make a movie out of it just because you're a fan of the game. It NEVER works. Video games offer a completely different experience from films, and translating this is just impossible, especially if you suck in the first place. It STINKS of fanboy. It utterly wrecks the movie as you try to squeeze as many disjointed computer game references in there as possible, in order to please your fellow fanboys. For example, there were these mutated creatures in the church, obviously from the computer game. The survivors killed them, then that was it. No explanation of what they may have been or where they could have come from. They just moved on and never encountered those creatures again. It felt so jarringly out of place. Anyone who hasn't played the game would be wondering "what the HELL?!"

RE2 is boring, uninspiring, completely by-the-numbers, and just awful when compared to Dawn of the Dead (no actually.. when compared to anything). Zero scares. Zero tension. Zero fear. Zero. Rabid fans of the video game might like this, but as far as I'm concerned, it's enough to make a fan of the game want to throw out their video game console altogether.

andy-j gives this movie 2 out of 10.
Review created on Thu 16 Dec 2004

Movie review statistics

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Reader comments

  1. "The wrath of the people on the earth will grow until the wrath of heaven comes!"

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from Undertaker on Sat 29 Jan 2005 04:04 #

  2. I thought the movie sucked a whole lot of ass! Was it a scarry movie or just Rambo all over again? Resident evil as an action flick. How gay is that? It's gay in its purest form. Without a doubt in my mind this movie was a huge waste of time and money. That just goes to show you how people can take a million dollar idea and turn it to crap! I had more fun on the can than I had watching this garbage! If ther is anyone out there who can disagree with this statement you have horrible taste. For those of you who bought it on DVD please take this time to slap yourself as hard as you can! One last thing. If your interested in a real zombie movie check out 28 Days Later. When watching it you will actually use your brain a little rather than this mindless crap! The matrix rip got a little old not to menchan friends. I sure hope a sequal is not in store, because if there is I'm just going to have to rewrite this letter and convince you to let it die! Once and for all!

    Rating given: 2

    A comment from Batman on Fri 25 Mar 2005 14:52 #

  3. Oh my God this movie sucked, and almost as much as the mothers of those who went to see it in theaters!

    Rating given: 2

    A comment from Batman on Fri 25 Mar 2005 14:59 #

  4. I totally agree with andy-j. I finally found someone who can agee that this movie is crap. Unlike that Undertaker loser. A 10 out of ten? Go watch Garfield or listen to a Will Smith CD you Querdo.

    Rating given: 2

    A comment from Batman on Fri 25 Mar 2005 15:06 #

  5. why are you guys using gay as a negative term regarding a film, its really homophobic

    A comment from DJ DEE on Mon 27 Feb 2006 00:40 #

  6. es fantastica y quisiera conocer a la actriz soy su fan nº1 bolivia

    Rating given: 10

    A comment from giovana on Wed 19 Apr 2006 11:00 #

Those who have commented give this movie: 5.20 (5 ratings)

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